i've been reading some people's blogs and i feel quite sad, really. all the time. why like that! it's enough that evil gan must doubt my class' abilities, but now we've got more how-to-say. sucks. just a little bit more. get o-levels done and over with and everything else as well. i do mean to pay attention and try my best but there are time constraints. there's no time. not much. i'm quite pessimistic, although i've known that all along. at least when smthg bad happens, u won't get a nasty shock. and when smthg good happens, there u have it - a nice suprise. but not so good in a way. knocks years of your life span. i woke up a few days ago in the middle of the night and had a serious poison attack. i could almost feel all the toxins seeping into my stomach as it got drained of adrenaline. yucks. it was a sickening feeling but i din do anything. should prime my stomach because, yes, it's going to happen again. soon.

i'm s exhausted... watched twelfth night last night. was very last minute, because lucinda couldn't go so she gave me her ticket. the pretext analysis was really good... they brought out quite a few points that i didn't realises i didn't realise (pocahontas?). right. that's called ignorance. i remember being insulted for a while when i found out we would be doing twelfth night for lit. i think it was a sec one and sec 2's lit book a few years back. but now, i think i've changed my mind. it really is quite a sophisticated play, according to e HOD of lit in dunno wat JC (ACJC, i think), 'one of the most polished of Shakespeare's mature comedies'. we had a chicken rice break that wasn't very good, but not as bad as e MEP camp food. we were all joking that it was a $20 chicken rice meal with a free performance of twelfth night. yi xian and michelle practically smeared their whole chicken rice with black sauce. then we had to wait and wait and wait outside the auditorium for the VIP's to nibble fruits in the little reception place and sip their teeny little fruit punches and dab their wobbly chins with colourful servettes. (if u detect any disdain, u've got it) when we went in, we managed to snag some ok seats. at least, we din have to split up, unlike those JC ppl who kept on showing each other the 'v-sign' and mouthing "let's seat in twos!" "threes!" poor sods. then when e performace started, ppl were still talking, in the first scene, and that was so incredibly inconsiderate. the ppl started dancing and i think they did so for 5 or 6 more occasions during the performance. dancing! i'm not against dancing and the 'colourful display of youthful exuberance le blah le blah le blah' but surely there was too much dancing?! especially when they kept on using the same dance moves. the rest of the play was quite funny though, and malvolio was so popular! strangely enough, the most hated character in the book is the most popular in the performance. when he put on his 'yellow stockings, in the manner of cross-garters', the entire audience was roaring with laughter. he looked like some gay ballerina, especially when he pranced around, trying to get close to olivia, showing off his legs. he was so funny, in the last scene, when he swore to take revenge, he marched off scoffing and harumphing in such a faggoty manner! it was really funny. couldn't help but compare him to kumar. however, i din quite get the feste part. seems like there were three of em, and they took turns to play feste. one of them, i think, is julie wee of moulmein high fame. anyway, i wasn't impressed by feste, but by sir toby and orsino and antonio. sir toby was really funny, and the guy who played him was really confident and outspoken and he had such a funny laughter. orsino was impressive too, although i dun remember why. and antonio was very impressive! when he was angry with viola who he thought was sebastian, he started shouting and he was really very good. i did fall asleep during act 4, though. not because it was boring, but because i was really exhausted. i really regret that now, because i missed out on one whole act!!! arrgggh. the play ended on a very lively beat (thunderous applause for malvolio) - it ended with a dance (again!) most of the students seemed to enjoy it very much, but i think alot of ppl were wondering whether it was a dance or a play, because it tried to be a fusion of both but didn't seem to come out very right.

you really dun want to click. hard lesson i've learnt. dun click. really. i did provide the link (to bernice - thanks for the torture!) because i thought it was pretty funny. but anyway, it really is quite well done. i'm quite impressed. not that it matters. so go ahead, don't click!

after maths lessons today, evenlyn, quanmin and i went to toa payoh central just to walk around. we met up with trinetta at popular and just spent the entire day just walking. we did go to the library for a while, and i borrowed two books (i finished the analyst - it was excellent!), and evelyn remarked that i always borrowed the same kind of book - black and white cover. (not true) i just borrow books that interest me. then evelyn asked me to borrow this book called "petey" for her and it turned out she borrowed it because she wants me to read it, which basically means i've just wasted a loan space. anyway, quan min left soon after and we went to eat at KFC. and my goodness! wat a total waste of money. i shall refrain from ever eating there again. it's a frighteningly not value-for money. i haven't eaten there for very long... and no wonder! the price isn't worth it. $2.65 for a portion of 'large' cheese fries which would be deemed small at any other junk food outlet. and the potato wedges are as pathetic. i think there were only ten hunks there in the tiny box (which, i had to admit, was rather cute - but that's besides the point) we walked around 'bestway' or 'best' or watsitcalled. at the bus interchange, trinetta realised that the coleslaw was leaking everywhere, and her book and her wallet was stained with the coleslaw, which had a 'cabbagity' smell, (since it's mostly cabbage) - poor thing! there was coleslaw all over her wallet and a bit of her book got torn when it was damp with coleslaw. and it was new, which makes it even worse. hope her things are ok now! especially since it kind of smells. she probably won't be in a terrible hurry to order coleslaw next time.

mep camp was... boring. awful. terrible. i was already dreading it all the way. after the briefing, they immeadiately said we had to break up into groups. yingyi and wei qi and me were the only sn ppl in our group. so sickening. bad enough. then they said we had to sit next to someone other than someone from our school. arrggh. so we had to sit to someone else from a different school and it was rather awkward. had to make small talk throughout. which i hate. i hate i hate i hate small talk. but which i'm guilty of doing sometimes because i dun want person to think i'm a really boring person (which isn't very far away from the truth, actually). and the foor was horrible! i used to think that i'm very tolerant of bad food, and my bad-food threshold is a lot higher than most people. but the quality of the food was unbelivable (in a bad sense). i'm not ungrateful, but the food was bad. really. and e 20th century music was really horrible. that philip glass guy wrote this stupid piece called two pages. and the entire piece consists of five notes being played throughout. it was awful. the first bar itself was repeated 34 times, making it sound as if the cd player got jammed. e worst thing was that everyone insisted on listening to the full 17 minutes or so of the piece. i'll admit i was determined not to get lost and follow the score carefully, but the music is so dull, your mind starts to wander. then another piece was the 100 menetromes in a symphony or some other equally retarded title. at first it sounded as if a bunch of marbles were being shaken around a metal canister, or some pop corn machine, although i first thought it sounded like rain. and the rattling sound went on. and on. and on. and on. it was sickening. finally the mr pan guy told us it was a 100 metronomes going on and on and on until there's only 1 left until there's none left. i thought the concept was pretty novel. it seems impressive. i would have been extremely impressed. but after listening to the music... well. it challenges that perception very quickly. why do people have to write such pieces to torment others? it's not unlike the sound of a pnumatic drill, but i think even the drill serves a better purpose. i dun see any aesthetic quality about the music. right. now how about "4'33"? well, it isn't as noisy as the other two, but it's just about as thrilling. it consists, literally, of some guy who goes to a piano and sits there for 4 minutes and 33 seconds doing nothing. but there are 3 movements of course, and the philosophy behind is very impressive. but?! would you like to sit in a concert hall and listen to nothing? anybody could just stuff their ears with fish sponge and get the same effect, just at a lower price. even i could perform "4'33". on any instrument. and anton weber's piece (forgot the name) was at least, more tuneful, and it wasn't all that unpleasant. but it's annyoing. the music doesn't have anything remarkable about it. it doesn't even go anywhere ( a fact mr pan is extrememly proud of. "why should it go anywhere? why should it have harmony? why should it have melody? why should it be about anything? it just is.") by the end of the talk, my head was throbbing already. one redeeming factor was that he bothered to play a rather recent song (although it was extremely tardy, the kind u hear in those toa payoh 'botiques') but he had to spoil it by telling us the philosophy behind it. after that, we had an equally awful break where we were left with the disgusting honey fig tea drink. and then we went to the classrooms to design a poster or tv advertisement to promote a piece of 20th century music. (as if we really want to do that). ok, it wasn't so bad, colouring the poster was pretty easy. we went to some music room to hear malisa and her two jc friends tell us about the PPMC they had in sydney in earlier this year. following that, malisa played some piece. and it was really good. it was almost as if her fingers were... rubber or elastic or liquid. it was a little freaky. but it sent a very clear message. ppl like me shouldn't be allowed to go within a 5m radius of any musical instrument. i felt anything but inspired or energised by the playing. more of the opposite. it was exhausting. heard a string quintet play (they were really, really good) then watch the stupid presentations of the posters and the tv ads. after photo-taking, we were released. hooray. heard some strains of the TKGS band playing, and grace claims she heard miss sia's voice. the camp was... not enjoyable. at all. i learnt one very interesting thing though... just when you think music can't get any worse than it already is, it can.

i din manage to resist the root beer! but i made up for it by drinking some soya bean milk (tasted quite weird, like a strange concotion of soya bean milk mixed with red bean soup and chocolate milk)

i did manage to sleep in the end, though. was very difficult.

i resisted eating the sundae pie in my fridge, but i wasn't so sucessful in dealing with the mango pudding!

ARGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHH!!! wat is !@#$%^&* wrong with my computer. halfway the programs always start closing of their own accord, which gets very irritating, after a while. i just played sims (working today - hooray!) when i realised how good the graphics were. there is just so much detail. i was staring at the bathroom tiles and thinking how incredible it was (every single tile had light reflecting off it) when the stupid game crashed! and just when my sims were about to have dinner downtown. so irritating. errggh. but after a while it gets really boring, unless you keep on buying more and more expansion packs, which is what will wright wants u to do anyway. and which i plan to do of course. I just realised that the combined weekly pocket money of my sis and i is enough to buy two expansion packs. so hooray! can finally complete e sims library. if my sister agress to it. but which of course she doesn't.

i am a fat slob.

my sister and i are fighting over 'the analyst'. it's a very exciting book, but a little macabre.

i am a fat slob.