so sweet! when i came online just now, i was rather shocked to see some kind of deer on my internet bar thing (the grey area with 'file' 'edit' 'view' 'favourites' 'tools' 'help' 'back' 'search' 'favourites' 'media' 'address' 'go' 'links') then i realised someone in e house downloaded some hotbar skins thing. and it's really nice! everytime i open up a new browser window, there's a different skin. there's some star, snow-capped mountain, palm trees on a beach, cheetah cubs, puppies, cats and the one on my bar now is a maple leaf. so nice!!! after my ss paper, went to mcdonald's to get a cup of water but ended up buying the lemon lime drink. happened to see yingyi and si qi there. waved very tentaviely because i think siqi's angry w me.

20/20 says guilt is a negative emotion that can make us do good. so guilt = good. really meh? i dun think guil;t should motivate us to do things. it's unhealthy, i feel. for e bunny, i would go and find it's carrots not because i'm guilty that it's hungry and i'm not, but because i empahtise with it! which reminds me. miss poore (how to spell?) came to our class yesterday to talk to us about mr tan. and after the 'little session' which took half of chen yong ming's lesson (haha - we were supposed to do ying yong wen) i felt really sad. and guilty. and tt's good in a sense because promised myself i would listen during maths lessons from now on. but everyone was really quite mean. even after we had established the main reasons why our class can't get along with him, there were still some ppl trying to make personal attacks on him. and that's bad. it's common ettiquete that when u attack someone in e face/behind e back, u should never, ever, make fun of physical appearance. because tt's one thing tt is either: a) very difficult to change or b)impossible to change. it's not a fair accusation at all, someone wrote in a letter to him that "i dun like your face". now, cmon! that's not fair!!! how's he going to change his face? i agree that he's not exactly the model teacher, but then again, we haven't been acting like model students of late.

need to let off a bit of steam. it's very hard. at times. i noe it's all my fault. but pride is smthg really, really hard to swallow. it's smthg along the lines of loving ur enemies(as in really) or swallowing cod liver oil (e white flavour). it always leaves a bitter aftertaste.

grr. i'm very irritated. was walking out frm the canteen, when i saw u (!@#$%^&*). roll ur eyes. forever rolling ur eyes. do u think it's very cool? blah! i hope ur eyeballs roll out of ur sockets. wat's wrong? must u be so prissy? i've known since a couple of years ago tt u were such a priss. so shuddap. u may be miss consistency, commitment, etc. ok. so wat. i really care. and u. must u be such a suck-up to authority? and u. always threatening. it's not as if ur actions arn't hypocritical. i have never ever complained whenever ever u n*p. i wasn't even irritated. remotely. but when i nop u have to get all prissy and start threatening. i dun see e diferenced when we n*p. only dif is e time. e actions, e rationale, everything are pretty much same. but u have to go and throw some hissy fit. hypocrite. nobody's saying u can't n*p as well. only thing was tt u din. u forced urself. and tt's good. really admirable. but u din have to condemn. shows e only reason was because u want to show how wonderful u are. nothing irritated me more than a self-righteous person, self-righteous person. and u. why get angry. we made e decision. so did u. and our decisions are worlds apart. u dun have to get angry and tell e world wat u did. because tt's selfish. it's mean and self-righteous and self-proclaiming. u wanted to cup. we nopped to cup. so we did wat we did and u did wat u did. fine. shouldn't tt be the end of e story? it's to our disadvantage, u noe. why is it our fault now? we all made decisions. i'm taking responsibilty for my actions. i was wrong. but i don see anything admirable in e way u guys behaved. wat comes to mind... childish. selfish. prissy. bitchy. so be quiet. it's all to ur advantage. at least we're taking responsibilty for our actions (as my mum would say). so take responisibility for yours.

when it's cryptic, u noe wat it's about.

am feeling pretty angry. read someone's blog and am feeling quite... i dunno. at times like these i have no idea wat to say. does it always have to be about tt? it's a transient existence we lead over here, dears. it's not like we're dogs kowtowing and always begging for a chance or an opportunity to surpass others. tt's selfish. tt's kiasu. and of course, i realise - tt's completely necessary. but does it always have to be about tt? it's not like we don't have other things to do. like i always say, it's ur friends who drag u down... i can sense tt i'm stagnating in some peculiar point in my life. i no longer tremble as much, i dun run away as much. i'm used to being slighted, pushed aside, forgotten, etc. must it be now? does it always have to be cut-throat competition? because i dun like it. to hell with it. we were'nt meant to live this way, were we? i'm embarassed, humiliated and very, very demoralised. everyone has to go through it at some point of time or another, dun we all? but why now? not now, please. i'm started to get over last year. i'm starting to forget. and i'm really starting to forgive myself alot more. must it begin all over again : cos i'm bloody sick of it. this has got to stop.